Its all still good...
by Edward F. Maurina III · 02/28/2007 (6:27 am) · 29 comments
Hello all.
This is going to be a bit of a different blog than those I normally write.
As some folks know, my life was recently turned upside down when my wife was in a head-on collision.
What happened?
On January 27th, at about 11 am I waved and smiled at my wife as she pulled out of our driveway. It was a beautiful sunny day. There wasn't a hint of rain, nor even any clouds to speak of. The weather was positively peculiar for for Portland Oregon at this time of year.
Teresa was in high-spirits and looking forward to playing a round (or perhaps even two rounds) of golf with some friends.
I was in high-spirits because I would have the house to myself for the day and I knew I could make some much needed progress on my book.
...
At exactly 1128 am, the home phone rang. I was sitting in my office sipping a cup of coffee and reviewing changes from the night before. I decided to let the answering machine pick up, which it did after the fourth ring.
Leaning towards the door of my office, I hoped to hear at least a little bit of the message. I heard what sounded like my wife, but then there seemed to be something strange about her voice.
I got up and walked to the head of the stairs to hear the message more clearly, but by the time I got there she had clicked off. For some reason, my heart had started to beat more rapidly and my palms were just the slighest bit clammy.
Something was not right.
I raced downstairs and fumbled for the play button.
Click... Old message from my Grandfather
Click... message for Teresa.
Click...
Honestly, at this point I was wondering if I had heard my wife's last words. I was wracked with unbelievable guilt and remore for not picking up the call. I could hear the words, "No... no... no...", as if it someone else were speaking. It was me, and I was entirely frantic to get to her somehow.
The only problem was, we're a one car family.
Don't draw it out!
Not to draw out the story any longer and because my heart still races to remember this, I'll just cut to the chase.
My wife is alive and well.
I borrowed a car from a neighbor and actually beat the ambulance to the hospital (without speeding).
The details
My wife was driving our car, an old (1984) BMW 533i, which we have held onto for years because we felt it was a solid and safe car, being entirely constructed of steel and significantly outmassing most cars (excluding large trucks and SUVs).
She was hit by a 19 year-old driver who decided that it was a fine day to push his own car and it seems, his own skills, to the limits.
The details are sketchy, but based on my wife's recollection and the likely untrue testimony of the other driver. My wife was travelling at ~35 mph (the posted speed) and the other driver was travelling at ~50 mph (by his own statement), when the two cars came together head-on (see my comments on this later).
The important thing is that this means the sum velocity of the collision was ~80 to 85 mph.
Because words are truly unequal to describing the flight of the vehicles and the resultant devestation, I am including pictures for your viewing interest.
Now, some would not call this a head-on collision, since technically the other driver's car was sideways when it hit my wife's car on the front, but I still consider this a head-on due to the direction the cars were moving at the time of impact:

The first four pictures are of our car and demonstrate the damage it sustained. Looking only at these pictures, it really doesn't look that bad. In point of fact, our car was foreshortened by approximatly 1.5 to 2 feet, but it hard to see that in the images.




These next seven pictures are of the other driver's car (1993 Honda Civic) and demonstrate the high-velocity nature of this impact:







I believe my wife survived the accident ONLY because,
- Our car outmassed the civic, equalizing the stopping equation in her favor.
- The Civic, hitting side-on as it did allowed the entire passenger side to act as a 'crumple-zone', absorbing much of the energy from the impact.
Yes, but what is with the title of this blog?
At this point, you may wonder about the title of this blog. Well, the fact is,
although this was terrible, and
although the guy was uninsured, and
although the insurance agency is holding true to the nature of all insurance agencies (They're in the business of not paying claims.), and
although this has cost a fortune in time, money, and emotional input,
all of those things mean absolutely nothing when I can still say that my wife is alive.
So, it's all still good... very good actually.
Back in the saddle so to speak
In closing, I'd like to thank those of you have knew and wrote and those of you who gave me a little grace while I left posts and e-mails unanswered. I'm back at it and things are starting to straighten out.
Cheers,
Hall Of Worlds - For Gamers
EdM|GPGT
This is going to be a bit of a different blog than those I normally write.
As some folks know, my life was recently turned upside down when my wife was in a head-on collision.
What happened?
On January 27th, at about 11 am I waved and smiled at my wife as she pulled out of our driveway. It was a beautiful sunny day. There wasn't a hint of rain, nor even any clouds to speak of. The weather was positively peculiar for for Portland Oregon at this time of year.
Teresa was in high-spirits and looking forward to playing a round (or perhaps even two rounds) of golf with some friends.
I was in high-spirits because I would have the house to myself for the day and I knew I could make some much needed progress on my book.
...
At exactly 1128 am, the home phone rang. I was sitting in my office sipping a cup of coffee and reviewing changes from the night before. I decided to let the answering machine pick up, which it did after the fourth ring.
Leaning towards the door of my office, I hoped to hear at least a little bit of the message. I heard what sounded like my wife, but then there seemed to be something strange about her voice.
I got up and walked to the head of the stairs to hear the message more clearly, but by the time I got there she had clicked off. For some reason, my heart had started to beat more rapidly and my palms were just the slighest bit clammy.
Something was not right.
I raced downstairs and fumbled for the play button.
Click... Old message from my Grandfather
Click... message for Teresa.
Click...
Quote:"Hello? (long pause) I've been in an accident. (Strange noises in the background). I'm at TV highway (becoming faint now). Can you breathe? Can you hear me? (Someone else's voice). I have go now..." end of call.
Honestly, at this point I was wondering if I had heard my wife's last words. I was wracked with unbelievable guilt and remore for not picking up the call. I could hear the words, "No... no... no...", as if it someone else were speaking. It was me, and I was entirely frantic to get to her somehow.
The only problem was, we're a one car family.
Don't draw it out!
Not to draw out the story any longer and because my heart still races to remember this, I'll just cut to the chase.
My wife is alive and well.
I borrowed a car from a neighbor and actually beat the ambulance to the hospital (without speeding).
The details
My wife was driving our car, an old (1984) BMW 533i, which we have held onto for years because we felt it was a solid and safe car, being entirely constructed of steel and significantly outmassing most cars (excluding large trucks and SUVs).
She was hit by a 19 year-old driver who decided that it was a fine day to push his own car and it seems, his own skills, to the limits.
The details are sketchy, but based on my wife's recollection and the likely untrue testimony of the other driver. My wife was travelling at ~35 mph (the posted speed) and the other driver was travelling at ~50 mph (by his own statement), when the two cars came together head-on (see my comments on this later).
The important thing is that this means the sum velocity of the collision was ~80 to 85 mph.
Because words are truly unequal to describing the flight of the vehicles and the resultant devestation, I am including pictures for your viewing interest.
Now, some would not call this a head-on collision, since technically the other driver's car was sideways when it hit my wife's car on the front, but I still consider this a head-on due to the direction the cars were moving at the time of impact:

The first four pictures are of our car and demonstrate the damage it sustained. Looking only at these pictures, it really doesn't look that bad. In point of fact, our car was foreshortened by approximatly 1.5 to 2 feet, but it hard to see that in the images.




These next seven pictures are of the other driver's car (1993 Honda Civic) and demonstrate the high-velocity nature of this impact:







I believe my wife survived the accident ONLY because,
- Our car outmassed the civic, equalizing the stopping equation in her favor.
- The Civic, hitting side-on as it did allowed the entire passenger side to act as a 'crumple-zone', absorbing much of the energy from the impact.
Yes, but what is with the title of this blog?
At this point, you may wonder about the title of this blog. Well, the fact is,
although this was terrible, and
although the guy was uninsured, and
although the insurance agency is holding true to the nature of all insurance agencies (They're in the business of not paying claims.), and
although this has cost a fortune in time, money, and emotional input,
all of those things mean absolutely nothing when I can still say that my wife is alive.
So, it's all still good... very good actually.
Back in the saddle so to speak
In closing, I'd like to thank those of you have knew and wrote and those of you who gave me a little grace while I left posts and e-mails unanswered. I'm back at it and things are starting to straighten out.
Cheers,
Hall Of Worlds - For GamersEdM|GPGT
About the author
#2
Very glad to hear that your wife is ok. It could have so easily ended another way.
Enjoy every moment. As the saying goes, tomorrow is promises to no one.
02/28/2007 (6:48 am)
Hell of a thing.Very glad to hear that your wife is ok. It could have so easily ended another way.
Enjoy every moment. As the saying goes, tomorrow is promises to no one.
#3
This is the biggest fear for me... I drive about 2 hours a day (lots of backtracking and traffic :\ ) just so I can drive my wife to work so I dont have to worry about something like this happening. I can only imagine how worried you must have been. :(
Glad she is ok.
02/28/2007 (6:52 am)
Wow... Sorry to hear about this man. Looks like the Beamer owned the Honda though! I hate Civic drivers... good thing I have a truck :D This is the biggest fear for me... I drive about 2 hours a day (lots of backtracking and traffic :\ ) just so I can drive my wife to work so I dont have to worry about something like this happening. I can only imagine how worried you must have been. :(
Glad she is ok.
#4
Hopefully she's safe. 8-) More important than the cost of anything.
Take care of both of you.
02/28/2007 (8:03 am)
Whoooops. 8-(Hopefully she's safe. 8-) More important than the cost of anything.
Take care of both of you.
#5
02/28/2007 (8:49 am)
Wow. Worst thing is hearign that someone in your family has been in an serious accident. Im glad that your wife is okay. Take Care. Family is the most important thing.
#6
On a similar note, I was talking to a girlfriend once on the cell phone when she made an exclamation, followed by loud squealing tires, and finally a crash as the phone went dead (the impact knocked it out of her hand into the floor board).. she had been stopped at a red light when the driver of a large van over drove his breaking capacity and rear ended her, knocking her into the intersection. She was bruised up but otherwise ok. I was 30 minutes away and didn't get news for 20 minutes. I was a wreck.
Press on with the writing, we need a GPGT2, TGB edition! :P
02/28/2007 (9:03 am)
I have been working and investigating traffic crashes for 15 years, your choice of car kept your wife from serious injury or worse. You can believe her when she says she was going 35.. but don't believe the punk in the civic was doing 50, which I am sure you don't. :)On a similar note, I was talking to a girlfriend once on the cell phone when she made an exclamation, followed by loud squealing tires, and finally a crash as the phone went dead (the impact knocked it out of her hand into the floor board).. she had been stopped at a red light when the driver of a large van over drove his breaking capacity and rear ended her, knocking her into the intersection. She was bruised up but otherwise ok. I was 30 minutes away and didn't get news for 20 minutes. I was a wreck.
Press on with the writing, we need a GPGT2, TGB edition! :P
#7
02/28/2007 (10:03 am)
I like the title a lot, Ed, I think you captured the essence of it quite nicely really.
#8
By your way of telling the story, I was worried she got injured in the accident. How did the 19-year old manage? I hope he is in bad shape. I hate how morons feel the need to interpret speed limits.
02/28/2007 (10:28 am)
Quote:
although the guy was uninsured, and
Quote:
all of those things mean absolutely nothing when I can still say that my wife is alive.
By your way of telling the story, I was worried she got injured in the accident. How did the 19-year old manage? I hope he is in bad shape. I hate how morons feel the need to interpret speed limits.
#9
02/28/2007 (1:00 pm)
Wow what a story, and very well written. Sorry to hear about your wife, but happy shes alive.
#10
02/28/2007 (1:01 pm)
Glad to hear your wife is ok now Ed.
#11
I'm happy to see your wife is doing good. Kudos for holding on to the BMW :)
02/28/2007 (2:16 pm)
I've been in your shoes Ed. My wife was driving home from work and hit some ice and crashed into the side of a mountain. I was at work when her dad called to tell me. My heart dropped until I got to the scene and seen she was ok, except for some neck injuries.I'm happy to see your wife is doing good. Kudos for holding on to the BMW :)
#12
02/28/2007 (3:11 pm)
I was scared for a moment........... Im glad all is ok.
#13
He was called 'miracle man' in the news because everyone said he should have died. The kid was 17 that hit him. It's amazing how stupidity and speed usually go hand in hand. I'm sorry for your troubles and am glad that your wife is ok. You hit it on the nail when you said that none of the rest matters since you got your wife back.
@Stefan - When I first read this, I was pretty dissapointed that someone would wish someone else to be in 'bad shape' because of an incredibly stupid decision. I think he should go to jail for a little bit to be punished for what could have turned out much worse, but he shouldn't be inflicted with physical pain. He is only 18 and I know I did many stupid things at 18 that could have harmed myself or others.
I can pretty much guarantee that this kid will never drive like that again. Major car accidents tend to pull the daredevil out of people.
02/28/2007 (3:22 pm)
Wow. A close friend of mine was riding his motorcycle last summer and was side swiped by a kid going 60+ who blew a stop sign. His cycle was destroyed, literally, and the impact threw my friend over 30 feet into a tree. One of the chambers of his heart or something like that collapsed and they had to do an emergency surgery to blow it back up.He was called 'miracle man' in the news because everyone said he should have died. The kid was 17 that hit him. It's amazing how stupidity and speed usually go hand in hand. I'm sorry for your troubles and am glad that your wife is ok. You hit it on the nail when you said that none of the rest matters since you got your wife back.
Quote: I hope he is in bad shape. I hate how morons feel the need to interpret speed limits.
@Stefan - When I first read this, I was pretty dissapointed that someone would wish someone else to be in 'bad shape' because of an incredibly stupid decision. I think he should go to jail for a little bit to be punished for what could have turned out much worse, but he shouldn't be inflicted with physical pain. He is only 18 and I know I did many stupid things at 18 that could have harmed myself or others.
I can pretty much guarantee that this kid will never drive like that again. Major car accidents tend to pull the daredevil out of people.
#14
Thanks for sharing this BTW... boy racers in their Honda Civics are something that annoy most of us. One of the main reasons we just shelled out 20k+Euro (the Euro symbol makes your database barf GG!) was for its safety features. It seems that side-impact bars that extend to the rear seats were more-or-less a 2004 invention, so it seemed worth spending the money to protect the kids. The Irish roads being particularly bad, we have a lot of avoidable carnage to contend with.
02/28/2007 (4:18 pm)
The main thing is that she's ok, you're right of course. It has probably changed your perspective on things a little, which I think is the silver lining you're referring to with the "it's all good" statement :-)Thanks for sharing this BTW... boy racers in their Honda Civics are something that annoy most of us. One of the main reasons we just shelled out 20k+Euro (the Euro symbol makes your database barf GG!) was for its safety features. It seems that side-impact bars that extend to the rear seats were more-or-less a 2004 invention, so it seemed worth spending the money to protect the kids. The Irish roads being particularly bad, we have a lot of avoidable carnage to contend with.
#15
All kidding aside, scary business getting into a wreck like this, glad the wife made it home safe. I can only imagine the intensity of not knowing her well-being like that. I'm not so sure I could handle it sanely.
I was once in such an accident involving faulty government equipment, and when the responsible branch didn't want to pay up, I wrote to my representatives in Washington D.C. and they helped out tremendously. I know it doesn't help much for un-insured punk kids, but just in case anyone else gets into a similar situation, it's a good way to handle it.
Best of luck with getting back on the road, and if there is any kind of bright side to all of this: New Car Shopping!
02/28/2007 (5:25 pm)
Oh man oh man, the BMW hood ornament is missing! Won't somebody please think of the the ornament!? Did you check the the civic floorboards?All kidding aside, scary business getting into a wreck like this, glad the wife made it home safe. I can only imagine the intensity of not knowing her well-being like that. I'm not so sure I could handle it sanely.
I was once in such an accident involving faulty government equipment, and when the responsible branch didn't want to pay up, I wrote to my representatives in Washington D.C. and they helped out tremendously. I know it doesn't help much for un-insured punk kids, but just in case anyone else gets into a similar situation, it's a good way to handle it.
Best of luck with getting back on the road, and if there is any kind of bright side to all of this: New Car Shopping!
#16
02/28/2007 (6:00 pm)
Life can change in blink of eye. We have no control over what other people do. I am glad to here your wife is ok.
#17
Strange thing of our human nature, that we tend to forget what is truly valuable and true until it's completely out of our control
02/28/2007 (6:05 pm)
Ed, glad to hear that she is ok! Strange thing of our human nature, that we tend to forget what is truly valuable and true until it's completely out of our control
#18
We didn't have insurance when this happened and her mother had move in with a months before from health problems and we were so broke trying to pay for the tests... trying to come up with money to just go to the doctore. And the reason we didn't have insurance was because I'd gotten my first full time but insuranceless game programming job and she had quit her job to take care of her mom. Let me tell you... you don't know guilt until you've risked your wife's life to follow your dream... especially unintentionally. I tired to quit and get another job that paid more and she wouldn't let me. In the face of her own death she wouldn't let me quit my dream. Not that she could stop me cause no way in hell she's dieing period if I can help it... but it still gets me every time to think how much she believed in me and how much my dreams meant to her. Even if she's crazy for thinking they mean anything compared to her.
I know how you feel Edward... nothing matters except her. I'm happy for you that she's ok.
02/28/2007 (6:26 pm)
I would die if anything happened to my wife. This last year she got a sudden growth under her chin that the doctors thought initially could be fast growing cancer. You all know this time as the period I turned into a jerk around here. Thinking your wife is likely to die will **** up your life. I can't even explain the pain at the thought of losing her. I think my heart would look something like what the civic looks like in those pictures. When it was nothing but a freak infection that was killed by anti-biotics over time... kind of a shot in the dark treament while the tests were happening... I think I felt like I could fly and die at the same time from the happiness.We didn't have insurance when this happened and her mother had move in with a months before from health problems and we were so broke trying to pay for the tests... trying to come up with money to just go to the doctore. And the reason we didn't have insurance was because I'd gotten my first full time but insuranceless game programming job and she had quit her job to take care of her mom. Let me tell you... you don't know guilt until you've risked your wife's life to follow your dream... especially unintentionally. I tired to quit and get another job that paid more and she wouldn't let me. In the face of her own death she wouldn't let me quit my dream. Not that she could stop me cause no way in hell she's dieing period if I can help it... but it still gets me every time to think how much she believed in me and how much my dreams meant to her. Even if she's crazy for thinking they mean anything compared to her.
I know how you feel Edward... nothing matters except her. I'm happy for you that she's ok.
#19
I'm glad to hear your wife is ok. A scare like that is never good. Be very greatful.
02/28/2007 (6:38 pm)
I was in a bad accident like this before. Except it was involving me in a Civic and a Semi truck. Both of us were going 65 mph on the interstate. We hit head on and my car was ran over twice by the semi. I hydroplaned across to the other side. The problem with Utah (where I live) is it doesn't rain a lot during the summer. So when it rains, the oil on the road that has built up makes it VERY slippery. Atleast that's what the highway patrol told me. Imagine my Civic as about 1/2 the size of the Civic above. I walked away from it uninjured. Someone was looking out for me that day. :)I'm glad to hear your wife is ok. A scare like that is never good. Be very greatful.
#20
So very true. I am glad to hear she is doing okay.
02/28/2007 (7:02 pm)
".....all of those things mean absolutely nothing when I can still say that my wife is alive....."So very true. I am glad to hear she is doing okay.
Torque Owner Casey Weidner