Plan for Eli McClanahan
by Eli McClanahan · 11/01/2004 (3:17 am) · 7 comments
The TSE game I was helping with as a concept artist faltered when we started running low on team members, and has turned basically a 180 and is now a different concept. Thankfully we apparently didn't lose much aside from some potential art resources. Unfortunately, the new idea doesn't seem like something I'd be at all interested in, as it seems generic and uninspired. Often I think it's just an attempt to recreate other games into a new one instead of an attempt to be an actual game.
Coupled with that, I have a new job at Wal-Mart of all places, wasting my life away as a cart pusher. I actually managed to cripple myself for two days by putting too much pressure on my feet, since apparently our store isn't good enough to have automated pushers. We have to tie carts together with string and pull them into the store whilst evading cars. Lord. I'll be moved to a more productive position as soon as more help can be hired on to replace me, but for the time being, the job has crushed my desire to produce much of anything, especially something I don't even like.
My place as a concept artist in game developmet rests in my desire to express myself as part of a hobby, not to make money, although that would be nice. So, I'm left to wonder whether to bother continuing to try to make games at GG, as all the games and game ideas I see are stale and uninspired, or are simply unrealistically difficult. The general feeling I've gotten here over the past couple of years is that most of the developers are making games just to produce something, not necessarily making a game they love before they even write their first line of code.
In any case, I feel as though I'll discover what I should do if I concentrate on producing for myself for a change. I've been asked by so many people to draw concept art for them or instruct them on something for so often as of late that I've just grown tired of it entirely. My art, my personal expression, drawing and fiction, is practically dead right now, so now I'm tapping my fingers on my desk and knocking on the fake wood.
I never posted it, but I finished my site a long time ago. It's hosted as a sub-domain at The Junkyard (a news site that covers Halo, Tribes and Starsiege, etc). plague.the-junkyard.net/ is the site URL. I get tired of people heading to the "Sketches" section instead of the "Concepts" section, since my Sketches are basically just a respository of my hands' defecation. I haven't finished a real Concept (a "finished" idea) in what seems like forever. I know I haven't written any fiction in months aside from the D&D chapters that I try only half-heartedly to do well on most of the time.
Hopefully I'll feel like I'm producing something more expressive and... fun, soon.
Coupled with that, I have a new job at Wal-Mart of all places, wasting my life away as a cart pusher. I actually managed to cripple myself for two days by putting too much pressure on my feet, since apparently our store isn't good enough to have automated pushers. We have to tie carts together with string and pull them into the store whilst evading cars. Lord. I'll be moved to a more productive position as soon as more help can be hired on to replace me, but for the time being, the job has crushed my desire to produce much of anything, especially something I don't even like.
My place as a concept artist in game developmet rests in my desire to express myself as part of a hobby, not to make money, although that would be nice. So, I'm left to wonder whether to bother continuing to try to make games at GG, as all the games and game ideas I see are stale and uninspired, or are simply unrealistically difficult. The general feeling I've gotten here over the past couple of years is that most of the developers are making games just to produce something, not necessarily making a game they love before they even write their first line of code.
In any case, I feel as though I'll discover what I should do if I concentrate on producing for myself for a change. I've been asked by so many people to draw concept art for them or instruct them on something for so often as of late that I've just grown tired of it entirely. My art, my personal expression, drawing and fiction, is practically dead right now, so now I'm tapping my fingers on my desk and knocking on the fake wood.
I never posted it, but I finished my site a long time ago. It's hosted as a sub-domain at The Junkyard (a news site that covers Halo, Tribes and Starsiege, etc). plague.the-junkyard.net/ is the site URL. I get tired of people heading to the "Sketches" section instead of the "Concepts" section, since my Sketches are basically just a respository of my hands' defecation. I haven't finished a real Concept (a "finished" idea) in what seems like forever. I know I haven't written any fiction in months aside from the D&D chapters that I try only half-heartedly to do well on most of the time.
Hopefully I'll feel like I'm producing something more expressive and... fun, soon.
About the author
#2
Its wether you bounce back and get into it again that is the test of wether you are cut out for the industry or not.
As for concepts and such. I can understand what you mean, you'll have been a part of a lot of projects that didnt go anywhere.
But think of it this way, indie development and internet teams are a BIG risk. So why would you be surprised if many of those projects failed? At least you learnt something right?
Eventually as you get more skills, you will get better and better teams offering you more and more work until you find the right team, or the right project. Then things will click.
As for the "making a product" versus "making something you love" debate. I dont think that its a prerequisite that you have to 100% dig your game. If you can step back and see its flaws it will be a better game for it. Thats not to say you should just do a product you have NO passion about (been there, done that). You have to find some middle ground. Where youre sparked and interested, but not fully invested in one single idea.
The problem is, that if you invest yourself so totally in a concept and that concept sucks, you'll drive yourself insane. If you remain invested but slightly disparate, you will be able to see the good AND bad.
Many people who start producing games try and make thier dream game. Unfortunately most of em havent got the tiniest clue how hard it is to make your dream.
I'm happier just making things that are "interesting" to me. I am not going to kill myself if some of them flop. I'm not going to get all upset if people dont think its a masterpeice. I intend to grow the business slowly. So that eventually I CAN do a game that really does what I want. That sets me apart from my peers.
Learn to run before you can walk is definitely a good plan :)
And dont worry if you fall over a lot, or have to hold on to some furniture.
Am I getting across? :) rambling now..
11/01/2004 (8:23 am)
Eli, your seeing whats known as Burnout :) everyone gets jaded once in a while.Its wether you bounce back and get into it again that is the test of wether you are cut out for the industry or not.
As for concepts and such. I can understand what you mean, you'll have been a part of a lot of projects that didnt go anywhere.
But think of it this way, indie development and internet teams are a BIG risk. So why would you be surprised if many of those projects failed? At least you learnt something right?
Eventually as you get more skills, you will get better and better teams offering you more and more work until you find the right team, or the right project. Then things will click.
As for the "making a product" versus "making something you love" debate. I dont think that its a prerequisite that you have to 100% dig your game. If you can step back and see its flaws it will be a better game for it. Thats not to say you should just do a product you have NO passion about (been there, done that). You have to find some middle ground. Where youre sparked and interested, but not fully invested in one single idea.
The problem is, that if you invest yourself so totally in a concept and that concept sucks, you'll drive yourself insane. If you remain invested but slightly disparate, you will be able to see the good AND bad.
Many people who start producing games try and make thier dream game. Unfortunately most of em havent got the tiniest clue how hard it is to make your dream.
I'm happier just making things that are "interesting" to me. I am not going to kill myself if some of them flop. I'm not going to get all upset if people dont think its a masterpeice. I intend to grow the business slowly. So that eventually I CAN do a game that really does what I want. That sets me apart from my peers.
Learn to run before you can walk is definitely a good plan :)
And dont worry if you fall over a lot, or have to hold on to some furniture.
Am I getting across? :) rambling now..
#3
Keep yer chin up. Perseverence does not always beget success, but it definitely makes for a more interesting plot! ;)
11/01/2004 (12:23 pm)
Yah know... collecting carts while evading cars does have the makings of a game. The more you collect, the longer your line of trolleys get and it's harder to evade cars....Keep yer chin up. Perseverence does not always beget success, but it definitely makes for a more interesting plot! ;)
#4
I too have found it hard to find projects that kept my interest, so instead, I turned to my own projects.
It's not hard to see you have burn out and a lack of interest, so rest up for a while. If you want to keep occupied, turn to game design - your stealth game idea has plenty of potential - generate a breadth of other potential game ideas to work on and work them up too.
One thing I will point out: your self-criticism borders on the masochistic. If you intend to work as a hobbyist, then there's no point comparing yourself to a professional - they've had training and years of experience. If do you want to get to a professional level, then mimic them, order a couple of Feng CDs or Burne Hogarth books, take life drawing classes, and train your eye to notice details, since that is what separates the amateurs from the professionals. Your machine designs are excellent, magnitudes above anything I've come up with; now all you need to do is refine the shading and highlights. Your characters are good also, but some aspects of the anatomy need working on (hence I suggest you take life-drawing classes).
Most of all, practice, practice, practice. And do what Phil says, he's the man.
Cheers,
Paul.
11/01/2004 (2:00 pm)
Hey Eli,I too have found it hard to find projects that kept my interest, so instead, I turned to my own projects.
It's not hard to see you have burn out and a lack of interest, so rest up for a while. If you want to keep occupied, turn to game design - your stealth game idea has plenty of potential - generate a breadth of other potential game ideas to work on and work them up too.
One thing I will point out: your self-criticism borders on the masochistic. If you intend to work as a hobbyist, then there's no point comparing yourself to a professional - they've had training and years of experience. If do you want to get to a professional level, then mimic them, order a couple of Feng CDs or Burne Hogarth books, take life drawing classes, and train your eye to notice details, since that is what separates the amateurs from the professionals. Your machine designs are excellent, magnitudes above anything I've come up with; now all you need to do is refine the shading and highlights. Your characters are good also, but some aspects of the anatomy need working on (hence I suggest you take life-drawing classes).
Most of all, practice, practice, practice. And do what Phil says, he's the man.
Cheers,
Paul.
#5
I have often thought of these types of games, the games, that are a simple concept, not extremely hard, but fun to play and addictive. It's easy to say I wanna do this, and that and do this, and put it all into a game, and sell millions, but thats what the big guns do. It seems as though there are a million puzzle games, all started from tetris, there is another tetris like idea waiting to be discovered, where it's easy to make, way addictive, not machine intense, just have to create it.
11/01/2004 (3:35 pm)
Yeah you could make a training game for walmart :) And sell it to them, and make some cash. I thought it would be funny to make a game, based on that PGA commercial, where they roll the carts into the bin. You could have people in the way, cars driving by, potholes, etc. I have often thought of these types of games, the games, that are a simple concept, not extremely hard, but fun to play and addictive. It's easy to say I wanna do this, and that and do this, and put it all into a game, and sell millions, but thats what the big guns do. It seems as though there are a million puzzle games, all started from tetris, there is another tetris like idea waiting to be discovered, where it's easy to make, way addictive, not machine intense, just have to create it.
#6
It sounds to me like you need a breather. Take some time off and try something different for a bit. Artists can find inspiration in all things. You just need to clean your system out and gain some perspective. After a while it will become clear whether you can return to game making or should move on to something else.
11/01/2004 (5:53 pm)
I sympathize with how you feel Eli. After working for more than a year and ahalf on C3 and it crashing horribly the way it did I too fell into that same rut. Since then I've been invited to four other projects becoming involved to varing degrees. These too crashed and burned. So now I find myself taking the bull by the horns and recycling some of the models I've built, retexturing them to suit my own game concept and pressing forward with learning other aspects of the engine I haven't been exposed to before. It sounds to me like you need a breather. Take some time off and try something different for a bit. Artists can find inspiration in all things. You just need to clean your system out and gain some perspective. After a while it will become clear whether you can return to game making or should move on to something else.
#7
I can't really add a whole lot to what has already be noted.
Take a breather, develop your skills without a project in mind. That way you can concentrate on your weaknesses and heighten your strengths. Then come back stronger when you're ready.
11/02/2004 (4:19 am)
I have an extreme hatred for people who leave their shopping carts in parking lots. I wish the presidential candidates had talked about this important issue.I can't really add a whole lot to what has already be noted.
Take a breather, develop your skills without a project in mind. That way you can concentrate on your weaknesses and heighten your strengths. Then come back stronger when you're ready.
Torque Owner Thomas \"Man of Ice\" Lund
If you have to make a living out of your game dev, you just cannot produce games you would "love to make", but games that will sell. And hopefully a lot of those.
If you dont have to finish it and/or make a living, then sure - make a WW2 MMOFPS/RPG (yes yes - I'm pushing it). Everyone would love to make one of those, but its just not feasable for an indie.
My 2 euro cents.